Dude, I can’t do things your way.

I tried it all.

I tried to do things your way.

Tried jumping through the hoops, dotting the i’s–and even rebelliously not dotting them for years at a time. (Did you notice? Probably not.)

I tried doing everything the way you told me to. I was a good student. I was so eager to learn (not to mention eager to please). But it always felt like crap. It was bullshit. I always felt like crap doing it. I wondered if anyone noticed, or if I–in my tendency toward general-but-not-sparkly-and-special competency–just kind of got by, even though something was so obviously off the whole time?

{This is the part of the post where I emphatically and (that word again) rebelliously declare that I am not doing it that way anymore. Sigh. You’ve read these words from me before, and I respect you too much to pretend you don’t see it coming. Again.}

So, I’m not going to do it this time.

Instead, I’m going to just quietly, subtly–elegantly, maybe (oh, but I was never elegant, I was always bold and slightly awkward)–change the way I’m doing things until it feels natural again.

And if you happen to notice and wonder why I’m not doing things the way you’ve told me to (again and again, ad nauseum), it’s because …

I can’t do things your way.

Originally published at www.tallredpoppy.com on February 19, 2016.

Hey! I’m Sandra.

I’m Sandra. I write about creativity, mindfulness, and the experience of being from another planet at Tall Red Poppy.

I wrote this ebook, 10 Reasons Your Creative Dream is Stuck (and How to Break Free, Starting Today). You can read it free, here.

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